


(Holy!) Guacamole!

by nuealite



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe- Food, M/M, fruit! au, idk - Freeform, this was written ages ago
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-14
Updated: 2015-02-14
Packaged: 2018-03-12 08:36:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3350321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nuealite/pseuds/nuealite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kai is an avocado who pines over a lovely little tomato.</p>
            </blockquote>





	(Holy!) Guacamole!

jongin watches baekhyun longingly from the other side of the kitchen.

baekhyun is the most beautiful tomato he's ever seen; he's always admired how lovely and red he is; a bright smooth outer skin that shines in the sunlight and makes jongin’s nonexistent breath hitch, desperate to reach out and touch that exquisite smooth crimson surface for himself.

not that jongin has ever touched him before. or even spoken to him. because jongin is an avocado who lives on the opposite side of the kitchen. he doesn't really mind where he lives; he shares his wooden bowl with a very tall and very vivacious lemon named chanyeol, and jongdae, the sassy lime. he rather enjoys their company most of the time. they make for good company, and their personalities allow lots of mischief and fun to occur-- he especially likes it when jongdae pranks chanyeol into thinking that he’s about to be taken by the humans for the ‘preparation’-- the one thing that all the food fear-- and chanyeol would let out a bloodcurdling scream; one so loud, that jongin hopes each time that baekhyun would somehow turn his head to see where all the commotion came from, catch a glimpse of jongin and promptly fall head over heels in love with him as jongin did for the other fruit.

jongdae, as per usual, thinks he’s being delusional and pities the poor avocado, reaching out to pat him consolingly on the back before he realises he’s a lime and he doesn’t have any arms to pat anyone’s back with. he claims that jongin’s been “dropped one too many times on the head onto a rock in the soil as a seedling” to think that baekhyun would ever love jongin back. the pretty little tomato enjoys his life in the patterned bowl, along with the more edible fruits like apples, grapes and peaches; fruits that are all (almost) as beautiful as baekhyun and certainly much more popular with the humans than anything in his bowl will ever be.

oh how jongin longs to to be able to roll over to that bowl and join them. he can just imagine it: he’d plop in, right next to baekhyun so smooth and suavely, baekhyun would gasp. jongin would wink and smile, blinding him with all his dazzlingly green shine, and the little tomato would blush even brighter than his already scarlett complexion-- perhaps a brilliant vermillion shade, and in the loveliest tinkly voice, confess his undying adoration for jongin and vica versa. then they would live happily ever after, holding hands (even though it is impossible because they have none) with all the other fruit in the kitchen sighing in envy at their perfect love. but he can’t roll over to his one true love; he can’t even roll to the other side of his bowl. because jongin is an avocado. he is a fruit, and fruit cannot move on their own.

\--

it’s another day in the kitchen and jongin is watching baekhyun’s bowl with great intensity. his lovely tomato is talking to kyungsoo, a delicate little peach, chattering away excitedly about something that jongin cannot hear on his side of the room. not for the first time in his life does he silently curse the size of the room that allows he and his beloved to be separated so.

he’s too busy bemoaning his bad luck that he doesn’t notice the sudden hushing and silence until a shadow is cast upon him. he tilts his eyes up to see a human staring down at him. he’s never been this close to one and takes the time to study him.

jongin takes in the largely defined eyebrows furrowing in concentration and eyes so dark it feels like his bumpy out shell was being pierced. he shudders visibly (to the fruit because humans were too dumb to notice minute details like fruit shuddering and making obscene gestures in their general direction) as soon as the human’s sharp gaze moves on to another fruit.he lets out a breath because today is obviously not his day for the ‘preparation’. every single one of them knows that when humans come into their sanctuary, they’re here for one thing and one thing only: to devour them. so it comes to his relief that he won’t be chosen.

but as it turns out, today is not jongdae’s day.

jongin watches in horror as the blasted human picks up jongdae with his massive (yaoi) hands and turns him, examining the lime for god knows what before letting out a small hum of approval and setting him down on the island in the middle of the kitchen. beside him, chanyeol wails, mourning his best friend (they’d been together for a long time, since before jongin arrived in the kitchen a few days ago; which is very long in a fruit's perspective. because really, how many times did humans come into the kitchen for food?). jongin looks at jongdae with terrified but also sympathetic eyes as jongdae looks back; eyes filled with sadness as he smiles weakly in resignation, lips quivering in fear but also in acceptance of his fate.

chanyeol has burst into tears by now, screaming hysterically up at the human in a rage, who once again fails to notice the fruits despair (although he does blink once at the lemon that suddenly has little drops of condensation on the once dry skin. he shrugs and blames it on the humidity) and obviously saunters to the other side of the room, peering into the patterned fruit bowl.

after a moment of deliberation, the tall human picks his next victim.

jongin’s heart seizes painfully, eyes widening as he spies the little- _his_ little tomato in the large, brutish hands. baekhyun looks terrified, unable to stop his trembling as the human (now referred to as the monster in jongin’s mind) places him down next to jongdae, who tries to calm the frightened but still beautiful tomato with soothing words. jongin, who really can’t believe he’s even thinking such things at a time like this, is jealous of jongdae’s closeness to his beloved and is unable to stop himself to glaring at his former best friend, forgetting for a moment that he’s about to die and he’ll never be able to prank chanyeol with him again. jongdae seems to have also forgotten his current predicament and smirks over at jongin, giving him a greasy wink before attempting to chat up the slightly calmer baekhyun.

if jongin could march up to jongdae and punch him in the face he would. life or death situation and best friend be damned.

he’s entirely too occupied fuming and plotting the downfall of his betrayer of an ex-best friend, and once again doesn’t notice the shadow over his bowl until another fruit had been picked.

jongin is slightly surprised when he finds himself in the monster’s hands, headed for the island as well. he starts to panic, hyperventilating as he is placed down next to jongdae. in the back of his mind he hears chanyeol’s upgraded screams and very creative curses aimed at the monster. he’s freaking out in ways he didn’t even know he could freak out and all his past regrets are going through his head, a rate of a million thoughts per second. his distressed face must’ve been noticeable, because he hears a small but lovely tinkling voice that brings him out of his reverie.

“a-are... you okay?” baekhyun asks timidly, staring at the avocado with such trepidation and worry jongin kind of wants to squeal at his cuteness.

instead, he chooses to splutter incoherently.

“i-uh.. ready for death- i think. i- i'm.. okay?”

he can see baekhyun’s perfect little face scrunch up in confusion as he tries to decipher jongin’s gibberish.

“i... um see? well.. if you’re.. okay then..” he speaks slowly, as if talking to a seedling (petulant inner-jongin huffs and crosses his arms childishly) and all jongin can do is blink stupidly. because here is his love: his beautiful baekhyun, the loveliest tomato in the kitchen since like... ever and he’s talking to him. jongin. the avocado.

if jongin had arms, he would’ve pinched himself (jongin finds himself wanting arms a lot these days).

baekhyun still looks kind of terrified of him. who wouldn’t be if someone was just ogling at you and was maybe possibly-- _was that drool? did fruit even have saliva?_ \-- braindead from the lack of response he received. he quickly shakes his head and tries to smile widely at the other fruit. really he just manages to scare baekhyun even more.

jongin takes a deep breath and is about to confess his undying (ironic in this situation really) love for the tomato when there’s a sudden bang and the human is taking out a wooden chopping board. he picks up jongin and places him on his side on the board and walks away for a moment, only to come back with a large sharp knife.

oh. right. he’s about to die. he totally forgot about that for a moment.

the human scans the avocado, contemplating the best way to cut into the hard outer shell and jongin takes this time-- his only and last time-- to proclaim his love for baekhyun.

“my name is jongin and i love you baekhyun! i've loved you since i first saw you and thought you were the most beautiful fruit i had ever seen!” he shouts at the top of his tiny lungs, not caring who heard or who didn’t. because hey, he’s about to die anyway.

he whips his head quickly over to baekhyun, whose mouth is wide open and seems to be struggling for words. his eyes are downcast and doesn’t respond to jongin’s confession. his heart sinks even further and he’s ready to just close his eyes and dies because he’s never been more humiliated in his life.

suddenly he hears the same tinkling voice from his dreams and his eyes flying open in shock.

“i know.” baekhyun is blushing a bright vermillion red that stands out against his crimson complexion, a small shy, but happy smile plastered across his face, eyes shining as he looks back at jongin, trying to convey all his feelings into two very little, but very important words.

jongin can feel his mouth curl up into a brilliant, dazzling grin. he can also feel the touch of the very sharp knife’s edge against his shell.

and it hurts.

a lot.

but he doesn’t care. not about the pain, or the fact that he’s about to die.

all he really cares about is the unadulterated joy in his heart that the most beautiful tomato he’s even seen is truly his. so he closes his eyes once more and placidly lets the knife slice into his soft innards and the human throw away his large stone heart.

because jongin knows that soon, the lovely little tomato will be joining him in fruit heaven, where they all have arms and legs (because it's heaven and they can do whatever they want); and jongin can finally embrace baekhyun the way he’s always dreamt of.

\---

_(“this guacamole is really nice. did you make it yourself?” tao asks, dipping his tortilla chip into the avocado mexican-style sauce for another bite._

_“yeah i always do. you like it?” kris replies, leaning back against the sofa. his eyes pull away their focus from the music show currently airing to glance over to his younger boyfriend, who’s making happy crunching sound as he noisily demolishes his after dinner snack._

_tao nods, tapping his chin in thought. he chews carefully and tilts his head, savouring the mouthful. he swallows and let’s out a small ‘ah’ as he chirps out his next sentence. “_

_it tastes better your usual one. the avocado and the tomato work really well with each other! almost like they were made to be eaten together you know?”)_

**Author's Note:**

> This is an import from my livejournal account, which I've deleted as a fresh start. It was written two years ago and unbetad so it's terrible but ceebs. Thank you for reading idk.


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